Why real leadership means doing the right thing, even when it’s hard

“Leadership is doing the right thing, even when it hurts”.

This is a quote I picked up from Scott Galloway recently. And I think it’s a good point.

We’re so often faced with a choice – in leadership, as in life – between what’s convenient and what’s right.

Sometimes, they’re the same thing. But those moments aren’t really worth talking about. They tend to just happen, usually without much deliberation.

True leadership – and integrity – is shown when we’re prepared to do what’s right at the expense of our own convenience or comfort.

The trade-off only really exists in the short term. Doing what’s right in these moments often means trading short-term comfort for long-term gain. And we’re generally better off in the long run – at the very least in our sense of integrity and self-worth, but often more broadly – when we choose to do the right thing up front.

My favourite example of this is having tough conversations – which are so often avoided.

“Leadership is doing the right thing, even when it hurts”

Scott Galloway

Avoidance is rife in society generally, but especially in management.

It astounds me – in the most heartbreaking way – how often people avoid tough, but important, conversations: with their partner, their kids, their friends or their colleagues.

They buy themselves short-term comfort. But usually at the expense of better outcomes for themselves – and the other person – in the long run.

It’s far too common (and really not ok) that a manager knows there’s an issue with someone on their team, bitches about it behind their back and still does nothing. Telling themselves they’re being polite. Telling themselves it’s kinder this way.

I heard Evan Spiegel talk about this recently. He used the example of someone with spinach stuck in their teeth. The polite thing might be to say nothing, to spare them the momentary embarrassment. But the kind thing – the helpful thing – would be to tell them, so they can fix it and move on. It might be awkward for a moment, but it would be a relief for the spinach-eater. Because I think most of us would be mortified by the thought of walking around all day with food in our teeth – everyone noticing, but no one saying a word.

So, we must stop telling ourselves that silence is kind.

Because it’s not.

Kindness is having the courage to speak up – even when it’s uncomfortable – because you care enough to help someone grow.

Leadership isn’t about sparing people momentary awkwardness. It’s about having the courage to lean in, even when it’s easier to stay silent.

And often, it starts with a simple, direct, human conversation.

We must do the right thing – even when it hurts. Especially when it hurts.

That’s what real leadership looks like.

Avoiding a conversation you know you need to have?

You don’t have to work it out alone. Coaching gives you a confidential space to think it through, pressure-test your approach and plan the conversation you’ve been putting off – what to say, how to say it and where to hold your ground. Walk in prepared. Speak with clarity. Leave knowing you did the right thing, not the easy thing.