Updated: October 2024
It’s a common thing to say when arranging meetings at work, e.g.: “When works for you? I’m flexible.” But it equally applies to organising things with your friends and family.
You probably say “I’m flexible” out of consideration for the other person, allowing them to pick a convenient time.
Despite the good intentions, saying “I’m flexible” has the opposite effect – it’s not really considerate. It is passing the ‘cognitive buck’. You’re asking the other person to handle the scheduling problem.
Studies show that people are more likely to accept a meeting request when you propose a specific time and date (e.g. Tuesday at 2:00pm), compared to leaving it up to them. We prefer ‘constrained’ decisions, especially when we’re busy.
Of course, you should remain prepared to be flexible when requesting someone’s time, even if you don’t say it. Propose a time (bonus points if you actually give some thought to what might work best for them), and then be flexible if they come back with an alternative.
It’s an old habit for me. But moving forward I’ll try to be kinder and stop saying “I’m flexible”.
P.S. I learnt about this from the book ‘Algorithms to Live By’ by Brian Christian and Tom Griffiths. Check out my summary of the book for more great advice on productivity, decision-making, prioritisation and strategy.
While you’re rethinking your meeting habits…
Before you even book the meeting, it’s worth asking whether it needs to happen at all. Our free ‘Do we even need this meeting?’ checklist is a 60-second tool – with separate versions for the organiser and the invitee – that helps you quickly assess whether a meeting is worth everyone’s time. It also includes push-back scripts for professionally declining low-value meeting invitations without the awkwardness. Small habit change, big calendar payoff.
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The ‘Do we even need this meeting?’ checklist.
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Free. Feel like meetings are running your day? This free checklist helps managers lead with clarity – by reducing meeting overload and creating space for what matters.
Where to next?
- Check out my summary of ‘Algorithms to Live By’ by Brian Christian and Tom Griffiths.
- Buy a copy of Algorithms to Live By, by Brian Christian and Tom Griffiths : AU • UK • US
- See author Tom Griffiths’s great TEDx talk.