Crucial conversations in neuroinclusive workplaces: Can they co-exist?

Can crucial conversations co-exist with neuroinclusive workplaces?

My psychologist asked me this last week. And it stumped me.

Because it instantly revealed how little thought I’d given this obvious and fair question.

I need to give it more thought. And I must educate myself better on what it means to create a neuroinclusive workplace. Because, for someone who aspires to high levels of inclusiveness, I am terribly uneducated on this whole topic. It’s a real blind spot that I need to work on.

Nevertheless, I have given the question some thought.

And so far my position hasn’t fundamentally changed. I still think that our workplaces – and the world generally – would be best-served if we fight against and eliminate our worst avoidant tendencies.

Because avoidance is a disease that eats away at potential. The potential to create fulfilling and impactful workplaces. And the potential to create and enjoy meaningful and lasting relationships (whether in work, in love or elsewhere in life).

I’m guessing this holds true, whoever we’re dealing with and wherever they sit on the neurodiversity spectrum (and while recognising that the lived experience of avoidance may feel very different, depending on where we all sit on that spectrum).

Because true avoidance isn’t about the other person. It’s about us. It’s about our own cowardice masquerading as a favour to the other person. Or to our future selves. When neither is true.

In the Crucial Conversations model by Kerry Patterson et al. the first step of any conversation is to establish psychological safety with the other person before any dialogue can take place.

My first assumption is that this need for psychological safety holds true for whoever we’re dealing with and whatever their psychology.

However, my second assumption is that the techniques to create, maintain and observe psychological safety likely vary with neurodivergence – and that the window for tolerance before safety is lost might be smaller. One simple – but by no means defining – example that I’ve read about is that of eye contact. While it can create a sense of connection for many of us, it can be threatening for some of our neurodivergent colleagues.

But, I don’t know. As I say, these are just assumptions. And – in the spirit of supporting my own learning, alongside everyone’s else’s – I’d love to hear from people who have credible experience and learning on this topic.

Because at the end of the day, leaders need to meet people where they are and communicate in ways that people can actually receive – especially on messages around expectations and accountability. And everyone – whoever they are and however they operate – deserves to feel seen, supported and cared for on a human level. So it seems likely that a good working understanding of neurodiversity and neuroinclusive workplace design will only help us be more effective in our roles.

What do you think? In what ways might we need to rethink crucial conversations in the context of a neuroinclusive workplace?